Breakups can be tough, especially if it happens to be your first one or if you doesn’t see it coming. Either way, your heart aches terribly and all you want is for things to go back to the way they were. But they never will. However, remember: Nothing in life is permanent, and that includes sadness. You need to focus on what you have or what you can achieve, instead of focusing on something you can never have.

What to Do After a Breakup

Even though breakups can be harsh, you need to know what to do to help ease the transition for you, hopefully putting you back onto the path of peace and happiness again.

1. Warn your mutual friends

The thing is, your ex will be a topic of conversation – deliberately or otherwise. Put your foot down and force them to never discuss him or her in front of you. You need to make it clear to them that even the slightest mention of his or her name will force you to leave the room.

2. Avoid places that your ex frequents

Use this as an opportunity to try new places and meet new people!

3. Control your emotional urges

See, the thing about being emotional is that many times, we tend to act irrationally. And if it’s all kept contained, there’s no problem. But if you post update after update on your Facebook abusing your ex for dumping you like this, well, things can get real nasty. Passive aggressive statements don’t make the situation any better. It doesn’t matter whether he was right or wrong – what matters is you being the mature person. So the next time you feel an urge coming on, call a friend and talk to them instead of posting a sad story on SnapChat.

4. Take off the rose-colored glasses

Yes, your relationship had good times and there were moments when you thought your ex was the one. But guess what? Your relationship also had bad times and there were many more moments where you asked yourself what you were doing in this relationship. Think of your relationship realistically because when it comes to what to do after a breakup, this will definitely make moving on that much easier.

5. Cry your heart out

See, the thing is, crying is actually cathartic. So if you think you can be all stoic and hold everything in and it’ll all eventually wade away, you’re wrong. Those feelings WILL find a way to come out and when they do, God forbid whoever is at the receiving end of your emotional frustrations. Go on a romantic movies marathon, listen to breakup songs and just do whatever it takes to cry your heart out.

6. Get rid of any reminders of your ex that you may have

These include physical items like watches, shoes, clothes or other gifts and virtual items like old conversations, photos, or photo tags.

7. Don’t rush into another relationship

Because that’s like fixing broken cutlery with masking tape – it just won’t work. I know lots of people get rebounds and go on several one night stands, but they are all empty and meaningless actions. None of these things will help fill the void that you feel in your heart. Not to mention how incredibly selfish it would be of you to be in a relationship with someone you don’t even have genuine feelings for.

8. Find yourself

When you’re in a relationship, you mould yourself into a different version of yourself or even another person to fit in your partner’s idea of an ideal partner. All of us are guilty of doing this. So now, do everything that you couldn’t do when in a relationship – wear those sexy shorts, get your hair colored, get that tattoo you always wanted or go hiking alone in the mountains. Do what you've missed doing if you’re thinking about what to do after a breakup!

9. Follow your passions

The easiest way to forget the bad is to focus on the good. And what better thing to invest your time, money and energy into than something you’re passionate about? Learn a new language, take self-defense classes, learn to play the guitar or go volunteer at your local animal shelter. The opportunities are endless!

10. Meet the ones you love

Friends, family, colleagues… Pretty much anybody who you can hang out with and you should hang out with. Pour your heart out to them or simply have a good time with them. Don’t lock yourself in your room because it’ll only make things worse for you. Plus, these are the ones who are genuinely worried for your wellbeing and surrounded by the people you love is definitely going to make you feel better.

11. Focus on the experience you gained, not on the ex you lost

As already mentioned above – nothing in life is permanent. So it’s always best to focus on what you’ve gained from the entire fiasco, instead of crying over spilt milk. Look at everything and everybody in your life, and choose to be grateful about what you have!

12. Challenge yourself

Why don’t you use this breakup as an opportunity to better or improve yourself? Push yourself! Do something that you’d have never thought of doing before, like solving a Rubik’s cube in 5 minutes, learning how to cook Indian food, singing karaoke on a weeknight, or having breakfast at a posh restaurant all by yourself. Whatever it is, when it comes to what to do after a breakup, you should go out of your comfort zone and do stuff you’d normally avoid.

13. Leave and relax

Sometimes, a break is all that you need. So why not give yourself a change of atmosphere? If possible, go visit a city or even a country that you’ve always wanted to visit. Spend time there,  immerse yourself in the culture and return home as a new person! If that’s not possible, then simply…

14. Treat yourself

If you were saving money for your ex's birthday to buy him or her an expensive watch, then use that money to instead get a makeover, a new dress, a cute pair of shoes or even a weekend spa getaway. Sound too fancy? Then just sit at home and fill your stomach with tasty foods, cookies or ice cream. Do whatever you think is best to keep you emotionally and physically healthy.